Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Long time... Update..

Ok, so 2day is Wednesday January 24th...Umm,, well most likely nothing big has happened since I last wrote, but just so everyone knows, I'm very very close to getting my own computer... So once I get that, It'll be updates daily... But yeah, I finally got my parcel from PEI that I sent out here with my Christmas presents and shit, so thats cool... uhhmmmm... my waterbed is going good... shit yeah, thats about it really, I'll update 2morrow when I can think straighter... L8a Days..

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Here's To Hope....

Im done.... I'm done and thats it. I just can't take it anymore... Shes always in my head and I can't get her out, but now, its just it, It's gotta stop. From now on, I'm going to totally avoid seeing her, writing her, everything, its just not worth the frustration and pain. I mean, I'd give up everything for her, But if thats not enough, well, what can I do? What the hell can I do about it? I've tried everythign I can think of. But anyway, the title of this blog is "Here's To Hope"... Well, To you, you know who you are, Here's to hope... Hope that someday you'll realize how much I love you and want you. Here's to Hope that someday you'll find me and tell me you love and want me. Here's to hope that someday I'll have you, because your all I'll ever want and need... But till then... I'll go on as an empty ghost, With no soul to care for anyone ever again... Here's to Hope...

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Back In Edmonton...

Yeah, so Its Saturday... I've slept in my bed in Edmonton for 2 nights now.... Its not bad, kinda weird, but alright.... But man I really need to get some groceries.... Thats one thing I loved about PEI, staying with my rents was always good food! But yeah thats going to be one of my New Years Resolutions this year.... Eat Better! Along with work out more often... and... well the list will get bigger as time goes on... So anyway, Dave gets home today... thats gonna be o.k I guess. We'll finally be able to do our Secret Santa thing! that, plus we're gonna have to clean the house something awful!But anyway thats about it, I may report back later 2night because we are supposedly going to the West Edmonton Mall later today to buy a Wii or guitar Hero.... So till then, L8a Days...

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

What A Wakeup Call

Woww!!!!! wow, wowowowowow, I dont know how else to describe it really.... this feeling of... I dont know what, but wow... Shes soo amazing its like for every second I'm with her, I'm in heaven... Her body is just so perfect, her lips are like silk. Ohh, anyway, yeah, so as you read from my blog early early this morning, my nervousness has left.... So yeah, I ended up falling asleep somewere betwee 4:30 and 5 I think, and didnt wake up till my alarm at 8:30, so then I went upstairs, started to write a note to leave on the door, then just as I go to put it on the door... There she is, walking up my driveway.... So I left her in my room while I showered,,, Then well, after the shower at like 9 till around 11:45ish, was by far the best 3ish hours I've had this whole time I was home... Oh god if only I could have her, I'd never let go.....But yeah, enough about that, she might get embrassed, so i'll leave the names outof this.... But to you, you know who you are... I love you. You tell me I cant, and I shouldnt, but I wont listen, I can't not love you...

But yeah, just had to write this down.... So yeah, till later .... L8a Days...

1 Day left....

Yeah, so its now officially Wednesday January 3rd at 4:00AM.... I can't sleep.... Its wierd, I've been on the island for a good 2 weeks now, and here it is the day before I leave, and feels like I didn't do anything... Like really, I didnt see as many of my friends as I wanted to. And the sad part is, I had no excuses not to go see them... Fuck, anyway, I guess I am glad that I'm heading back soon, I mean life is just soo much simpler out there. Theres no drama of friends with their bfs/gfs, theres no places we cant go because friends are banned from bars, We dont go out to bars for that matter, and really I wont miss that one bit, Bars are not my scene.... But I dunno, I'm always going to miss the people because of the social life it gives me... I miss the interaction between that many friends... And most of all, I'm going to miss the possiblity of seeing Emily any day I want.... Shes going to come over here in 5 hours from now, and honestly I think thats the reason I can't sleep. I went to bed at like 11:30-12ish, and I've been tossing and turning all night, Ihad to get up at 3:30ish there to go outside for a smoke just to try to calm down a bit... But jeeze I just can't stop thinking about her, and it pisses me off, cuz just think if this keeps up in Edmonton, I'll drive myself crazy man, like really. Uhh, I wish I knew what I was supposed to do here.....I know the Edmonton life is easyer, but I don't know if thats what I want to do wiht my life... And if thats not what I want to do, I dont want to waste my time there... as fun as it can be, as good as the money is, its not me. I need to find what makes me happy, and it needs to happen fast. Uhh, I know I could just be happy with Emily, it doesnt matter what I do for a job, or where for that matter, as long as I'm with her I feel right.... Its just too bad its a one way feeling... And really, you can't make someone love you, as much as I think she still does, shes telling herself not to, but I dont know why? I would do anything for her, but its just not enough. Uhh, I just wish ther was a channel on my tv that I could go to just watch her, see how shes doing, I dunno something to just ease my mind about her. But theres nothing, and I know that a girl like her will not stay single long, especially when shes going to a college with all her kind of people. And Im sure shes going to find some guy wiht her exact same interests, and he'll make her happy, but it just can't be real. I want to be that guy. I want to live with her by my side. I can love her more then anyother person on this planet, I know it. All I have to say is, she better not invite me to her wedding if she ever gets married, cuz i'm going to be that person who stands up at that perfect moment to say "STOP!!!, You can't marry this guy because I love you!". Uhh, I dont know, maybe I just obessed, Maybe I'm just looking for something to believe in, or hopefully I'm right and I do actuelly love her,,, Anyway, I dont think I'll ever find out,...
But hey Em...
...
..
.
..
...
Here's To Hope....
Love ya.
L8a Days

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy fucking New year!

as;dlkjf;alskdjf;lkajdfI think I just fucked my whole thing up