Lost......

So... Where to start here..... Well,,, J-Rod and I had a little talk while I was cooking my supper this morning and he made some really really good points that I've been pondering about for all this time now... He was going on about how he's not going anywhere at work... which is true, and its also true for me.... (down point#1) Then he started going on about how work is pretty much our lives at the moment(which is very true considering we left PEI life(where we had lives) to move to Edmonton where we knew no one, and just work... that's all we do,,, and we're also on night shift which means we do nothing during the days...... so the only time we actually have to our selves is the weekend, to which there's usually a whole bunch of people over.... So Needless to say, I totally understand where J-Rod's coming from on that whole subject... and it got me thinking on what the I'm going to do with my life.... Like honestly... where am I going in life??? I have a wicked girlfriend that could very well go somewhere if only I would pursue it.... a job to which, if I really did make a big big effort, I could go somewhere with it,,, but really, I don't think I want to do it for the rest of my life... It's just not the job for me..... All this, and our lease is up in less then 3 months.... Fuck man.... what to do , what to do......

Then the thought hit me while I was in the shower.....Something that's been there all along I just never got serious about it.... But if I were to join.... I'd lose Teri.... She told me already if I joined the military that it would be the end of us..... But seriously,,,, I think that the military would be the place for me.... Just the lifestyle of it... the physical aspect... I dunno, its just something that I want,, and think I can handle, I'm just too fucking .... I don't know, something... lazy/unmotivated...I dunno man. I know there's no life for me on PEI... its just .... I dunno man, I need to have some money, so I need a fairly good job, that's the only reason I'm still at Inotec... I mean 23 $ an hour is pretty damn good..... I'm not going to pass that up unless its for something really good that I want!!! Maybe if I were to join the military here in Edmonton for a while... see how it goes... if I don't like it, either I look for something else, or go back to Inotec for a while till I figure out something new that I want to try.... . Fuck, its just so hard to pick something to do and stick with it for a long time... Cause yeah, sure things are all fun and games when you start out,.,, but things always get dull and repetitive over time.... You get tired and bored of the same thing and have to move on...... until you find that special something, that something that drives you... I need to find that something! .... Or maybe that special something is right under my nose..... Hopefully time will tell... Till later,,. L8a Days...