rough nights.....

Well.... I dont think I can ever show my face at the house anymore. Man did I ever fuck up last night. All I wanted to do was drink last night, and pass out at the house, but things didnt really go as planned. Of corse I kinda got a little too drunk and for some reason topics came up, and I said way too much, I dont even know how we got on the subjects but I ended up getting kinda really emitional wiht Chris, and had to leave, so I talked to Adam online and got him to drive me home, and thats when things really got worse. I dont even know how it all started, or really what was even said, im going to check the convo right after I write this, but lets just say I really said way too much to Evan, and I know as far as hes concerned he just wants to help, but for me, it was just stupid shit that shouldnt of been said... Uhh, I dont even know what im really trying to say here so im just going to stop.
All I want to do right now is smoke and pass out and never wake up, but fuck.... I cant fucking do it. I have some weed still in my drawer, and my bong is in the closet, I have a lighter in my kitbag, it would take 2 seconds to put everyting together, and not even 2 minuts to smoke. FUCK. im gonna go have a shower, hopefully cool off a bit, then go take a nap. I'll most likely write in this later. I still have to write about the fucked up dreams i've been having lately....