Feelin low...
uhh, well now. where should I start here? this is gonna prolly be a long ramble... so be prepared who ever is reading this, hang on 2 seconds, I gotta chug 4 more beers and smoke a couple grams of stems as well as the last of my hippie crack which is only 4 hoots... brb.....
Welll.... wasnt that interesting.... Fuck, I just tottally told god to fuck off and shit. like, what the fuck, theres no god damn point to life. fuck.Im sooo fucking pissed right now that I cant even express it in words, like what the fuck. . ./ Fucking Laura made me think too much tonight, Fuck, I fucking hate that, one thing gets you thinking soo hard bout something serious, then youthink about other serious things, fuck, I dont like this at all. Fuck, give me a second.....
Ok, an other Apifiny, Laura... like... ok, where do I start, well I just had this little vision, it just jumps right in so dont be surprised if your lost.... like, is she in denial? or am I tottally wacked and she just cant see it coming.. Like, fuck, I really dont want things to end, but iknow its coming. If I go to Alberta even for 6 months, theres no way a girl like Laura will stay single for 6 months, it doesnt matter how much she thinks she likes me now, its not gonna happen. She'll do good for maybe 4 months at most, but shes gotta crave something by then, anyway, the point of the matter is, im pretty sure I lost her, and theres not much I can do about it, even if I decide to stay here and not go to Alberta.... uhhh, fuck, how did I manage to fuck this up that badly?like. I tired to be carefull and just kinda cover my ass when ever and where ever I could, but, I tottally fucked this up. I shouldnt of said anything about that god damn Alberta thing. fuck, I went on a god damn huntch. like fuck, Istill dont even know if this scafold thing is for real. yet I was tottally fixed on going to Alberta. Fuck, im such an idiot!, like. if I was half smart I would have lookied into it and like got pre-aproved or something before I even mentioned it to Laura. Like, fuck, w hy the fuck did I do that? I should have thought that one through a fuckload more before... And now look where I am. I was outside thinking 2night and I just realised the fallowing things....
- My 3 best friends (Pat, Jarod, and Jamison) have tottally diched me, so I have no close friends...
- I moved out of The House in Charlottetown, so I live now in Cornwall, and never see my "new" friends that I had there(i.e Barett, Chris, Kenny, Mitch, etc...)
_And now, of all last things, Im losing Laura... Now I officially have no one....
-Daves in Alberta
-Tonys in Halifax
-No ones here for me. I'm all alone.
I have a knife.. I dont want to live anymore... But still I can't do it, I try, and try and try, but I cant. even when the blood runs, I have to stop it. I dont want to , but I cant help myslef but stop it. as much as I want it to run drun, it never happens. why cant I just leave, and never come back?
Welll.... wasnt that interesting.... Fuck, I just tottally told god to fuck off and shit. like, what the fuck, theres no god damn point to life. fuck.Im sooo fucking pissed right now that I cant even express it in words, like what the fuck. . ./ Fucking Laura made me think too much tonight, Fuck, I fucking hate that, one thing gets you thinking soo hard bout something serious, then youthink about other serious things, fuck, I dont like this at all. Fuck, give me a second.....
Ok, an other Apifiny, Laura... like... ok, where do I start, well I just had this little vision, it just jumps right in so dont be surprised if your lost.... like, is she in denial? or am I tottally wacked and she just cant see it coming.. Like, fuck, I really dont want things to end, but iknow its coming. If I go to Alberta even for 6 months, theres no way a girl like Laura will stay single for 6 months, it doesnt matter how much she thinks she likes me now, its not gonna happen. She'll do good for maybe 4 months at most, but shes gotta crave something by then, anyway, the point of the matter is, im pretty sure I lost her, and theres not much I can do about it, even if I decide to stay here and not go to Alberta.... uhhh, fuck, how did I manage to fuck this up that badly?like. I tired to be carefull and just kinda cover my ass when ever and where ever I could, but, I tottally fucked this up. I shouldnt of said anything about that god damn Alberta thing. fuck, I went on a god damn huntch. like fuck, Istill dont even know if this scafold thing is for real. yet I was tottally fixed on going to Alberta. Fuck, im such an idiot!, like. if I was half smart I would have lookied into it and like got pre-aproved or something before I even mentioned it to Laura. Like, fuck, w hy the fuck did I do that? I should have thought that one through a fuckload more before... And now look where I am. I was outside thinking 2night and I just realised the fallowing things....
- My 3 best friends (Pat, Jarod, and Jamison) have tottally diched me, so I have no close friends...
- I moved out of The House in Charlottetown, so I live now in Cornwall, and never see my "new" friends that I had there(i.e Barett, Chris, Kenny, Mitch, etc...)
_And now, of all last things, Im losing Laura... Now I officially have no one....
-Daves in Alberta
-Tonys in Halifax
-No ones here for me. I'm all alone.
I have a knife.. I dont want to live anymore... But still I can't do it, I try, and try and try, but I cant. even when the blood runs, I have to stop it. I dont want to , but I cant help myslef but stop it. as much as I want it to run drun, it never happens. why cant I just leave, and never come back?
posted by bebop at 2:31 a.m.
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