Tuesday, August 30, 2005

No, I'm not OfuckingK!!!!

For fuck sakes, I dont know what the fuck to do, God damnit , this is soo fucking frustrating!!! Everyone is being all fucking... uh goddamnit I dont know what htey're doing, but its fucking annoying, and everyone is on my fucking back!,FUCK OFF!!! Jesus, I have too much shit on my fucking plate right now, for fuck sakes give some god damn time to think!!!. Uhh, but no, if its not Laura asking me whats wrong, its fucking Adamn wanting to knwo when Im gonna move my shit in, or my fucking parents calling me asking me to come over or some shit, just FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!! god damnit, this choice is getting easyer by the day, fuck, theres not fucking way I can stay here with all this mother fuckign bullshit day after day. I dont even know what I want anymore, uhh, I dont want to say anything right now because I know i'll regret it, but fuck, sometimes I really have to wonder whats going on...If only I could fucking see into the future and see what the fuck im supposed to do. Fuck, I talked wiht someone from work 2day and explained to her my story, and she really opened my eyes: What if in November after that scafold corse starts Laura leaves me. Then what? I'll be here on PEI, doing absoluely fucking nothing!! making no fucking money, hating every god damn second of it!!!?? So far theres really no point in me staying here, thers soo much more for me out there, and the only thing keeping me here is Laura, she tells me she likes me and we will be 2gether for a long time, but fuck, things change way too fast, and for some reason I really dont have a good feeling about this whole thing, theres something telling me to go, that she is going to leave me, and I dont know why!?Like what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Logically I know I should go, but for some fucking reason I cant. OHH GOD DAMNIT!!!!, fuck this shit, I need to fucking smoke.


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9:09 p.m., August 30, 2005  
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