in the same rut....

Man, I thought that when I came back out here that I'd start making changes and saving money, and ,,, well, following the plan I guess... But now,,, All I want to do is go back.... I'm trying to put pineaus idea of going in early February into perspective.... Although idealy I'd like to wait it out till late may/juneish to drive back with Dave,,, but again,, all that plan depends on Dave... but I should know roughly whats going on after the 8th... the day of his tests... once we figure out whats wrong with him,, I'll start figuring out what I'm going to do.... But shit dude,, i'd really like to just drive back with Pineau in early February... I don't even care that I don't have much money right now... I just want to go back there.... I'm pretty sure all shot with Emily is gone.... I hope its not,, but really, I can't even think about that right now... its really,, out of my control for the time being... I just hope she doesn't totally forget about me... I just have this wierd feeling that something went wrong last time we were together... not sure why...... fuck!, i hope I don't lose her.... but anyway, back to this whole me moving back thing... well i have so many things I need to take care of first.... I'd need to get rid of my van,,, either sell it or ,,, well, get rid of it, lol.... I need to get this wisdom tooth pulled out here while I still have dental coverage...... and well, figure out how I'm going to get all my shit home... But anyway, I should get going... i have to get up at 6AM so I can get to work and take this stupid PPE safety corse 2morrow morning.... so, till the next time... L8a Days...