Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I may have a sleeping disorder...

I dont know what it is, but I've been having some troubles sleepign lately. Its wierd and doesnt quite make sence.... See, when I have to go to bed, I cant, I can not sleep, I'll lay awake for hours in my bed, and then when I end up falling asleep, I get like 2-4 hours sleep before I wake up again. Most of the time I have to get up for work, but I still manage to function, not very well, but no matter how tired I am, even after like 10-14 hour shifts, I cant fucking sleep. Although smoking a joint or bowl really helps on how fast I fall asleep, I have a harder time getting up in the morning. It helps me get more sleep, but I have a shittyer wake up, which means a shittyer day, which means even harder to fall asleep... Uhh, anyway, maybe if I ever crack down and pussy out and finally go to a doctor and they find out all the crazy shit I have, they'lll put me in a mental hospital or something, that'd be cool. LOL, dont get me started on that, fuck, I really hope I dont get into any accidents soon, cuz if I have to go to the hospital and they have to take blood or something, they're gonna find soo many fucked up shit wiht me:P, then they'll start asking me questions and finding out how mentally fucked up I am. lol, fuck that's not gonna be good at all. anyway, I wont crack and go to that fucking place anyway, so I have nothign to worry bout. Anyway, on to other things....
So yeah, Im gonna call Customs 2morrow, see if I can arange an apointment for thrusday, fuck, I have a lot planned for thursday... Ok, lets see whats going on thursday: Waking up at around 10ish so I can go to my old house in cornwall, and try to explain to my mom who I really am, and what shes missed all these years... uhh, I really dont know how this is gonna go, cuz theres soo much shit I wanna tell her, fuck, I wanna tell her like everything, uhh, i'd like to explain on here, but I dont know who all will read this, and if they know how fucked up I really am.lol for safety sakes, lets just say theyrs lots mom and I will be talking about... So yeah, I have that planned for a good 3 or so hours, I'd like to talk to her for a good long time, then I wanna hopefully get my tattoo done at around 4ish, then hopefully i'll be done that around 6ish so I'll be able to go do something with Laura, hopefully just her and I somewere, I really need to do something for her,she really deserves it, we havent really done anything outside of the house in a while, except the drive in 2night but thats pretty much it, I really neeed to think of places to go, things to do for us... anyway, it'll come to me, .... Then after Laura and I do our thing, hopefully she'll stay and get drunk wthi Adam, Alex, and I, lol yeah I told them i'd drink wtih them thursday night, so I guess I have a full day planned, fuck, Im supposed to enjoy my long ass days off with lots of sleep, HAHAHA, yes thats right sleep!!!, when I know I will have lots of it, I sleep right the fuck in. its wierd as hell, I dont even like it, I get like double the sleep I normally get, and I feel like shit all day cuz Im soo tired from oversleeping, make since of that, fuck. anyway, my sleeping condition is fucking fucked, I kninda wish I knew what it was, but i'd have to go to a doctor or somethign for that, plus I'd die if I heard that shit, imagine a doctor telling you that you had some fucking sleeping disorder that was like insomnia or something, like what hte fuck, thats when you know your clinically fucked, yeah... well... what ever, I think that I've thought too much 2night soo far. Im gonna make one more look for my wallet then sit in bed for hours, l8a days...

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