Miss Emily T...

OK.... well... its been a little while since my last blog, I know, and Im sure none of what Im about to say will be even close to understandable, but here goes....

So I had an interesting past few days... With emily.... Tuesday night she stayed here, Wednesday night she stayed here,, and Friday night she stayed here..... Then yesturday(Saturday) we wetn out for supper to "talk"... and we did talk... had a nice little conversation about "us"... and ...I think ... I feel like we kinda hit our barrier.... Because some of the things she said,,, I just can't quite... accept i guess.... Like ... I love tha girl to death. I really do... I would marry her in a second, i would live the rest of my days trying to please her and make her happy... But it just would not be enough..... like... damn,,, I know that she could make me happy for the rest of my life,,, but I can not make her happy for hers.... Im just not what she wants.... and what she wants,,, I Can Not be that man... I'd be lying to her and to myself if I were to try.... like this whole religion thing.,.. I just can't do it... How does she base her entire life around something that is so unbelieveable? I just don't know how people can be so wrapped up in this religion propaganda... Like she was going on about how it would be nice to live the rest of our "lives" here on this earth together,,, but she wants to be with me for ETERNITY.... And that I couldn't do that if I didn't believe the things she does.... .... I'm not even going to get into how fucked up that sounds to me.... But i'll just say this... I could, and would do anything for her,,, but this religion thing... Its just too far for me.... I can't stretch it,.... I could hang out with her family more, I could be more social,, I could go hang out with her "crowd of friends" more... but I can not get around the religion.... Just can't do it....

So whats going to happen with her and I??? Im not too sure... but unless she can accept me for being me, and not ... I don't know what.... then we can't really be together... its just not possible.... so yeah,, I don't see the next little while being a very good time....

till later....

L8a Days....