Monday, October 17, 2005

CRY.....

So yeah, I am crying, so who gives a shit!!! my dad always told me crying solves nothing, and its soo true... But it doesnt solve why we cry... I just talked to morgan.... now I havent shed one tear in around an hour or more.. but just talking to her made me spill more and more tears... I just told her how she had/has everything, and ppl like me have nothing... She knows how well she has it, but still she isnt happy, and I understnad that, but she has no idead how I feel right now... as unhappy as she can be... she can never be as sad as I am right now.... The feeling of being tottally alone, tottally sad, tottally depressed..... Its horrible.... I thought depressed was a tottally stupid feeling and pointless feeling... but... god damnit... I feel sorry for anyone to who has thought about killing themselves.... I used to think it was stupid too, but jesus, if anyone could put themselves into tha tposition and feel how thye feel... Jesus Christ, thats the worst possible fucking feeling in the god damn world... I wish that apon NO ONE!!!, Nothing is worse then that. and trust me I know!!!! I'd rather feel anything then that! its a horrid feeling the feeling of suicide.... Youd rather be dead then think about killing yoruself... FUCK THAT!!! No fucking way.... uhh god... im going to fucking bed, my eyes hurt, and my head is pounding, as well as my wrist.... so fuck it, yeah, im going to bed. l8a fucking days, hopefully, hopefully not....

2 Comments:

Blogger Spider Girl said...

Wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but I don't know enough about you. Wish there was though...

I know I'm a total stranger but, I hope you feel better soon.

2:50 AM, October 17, 2005  
Blogger Spider Girl said...

Hey, I'm book-marking your blog, okay?

I've read more of your posts and it's sounds like you're in an awful lot of pain. You mention suicide a lot and I'm worried about you.

Yeah, yeah, I know you don't know me...but I've had two people I know commit suicide..one when I was just a kid and one just a couple of years ago..and it's so, so ugly.

And so irreversibly cruel. To yourself. To everyone.

I want you to be okay.

3:00 AM, October 17, 2005  

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